Bees and Their Knees

Building myself up again.

2010-07-16T19:48:00.003-05:00

Work is much better. I'm in self-discovery mode and our new boss is developing and encouraging my strengths.

After work I decided to buy some painting supplies. I took art classes in highschool and college, and loved them. Here's some stuff I had fun with today:

Full to the brim.

2010-06-23T17:04:00.002-05:00

Have you heard of Strengths Finder 2.0? Because you need to know about it, and you need to read it, and take the quiz and find out your strengths.

I've been discovering a great deal about myself these past few weeks: weaknesses, strengths, talents, shortcomings, loves, untapped areas of creativity, new friends and my threshold of pain.

Change is on the horizon. I don't know yet what that means, but there is a little seed of hope somewhere inside of me that is starting to blossom.

I'm in a lull.

2010-06-15T09:38:00.004-05:00

Andrew Bird, FTW!

My wonderful husband noted that I had not yet posted this month. Shame on me!

As an excuse, I'll just elucidate how wacky/stressful/uncertain things in my office have been:

We met our new Vice President (boss of the office, I guess you could say) on Friday. All of us had meetings with her that day. Apparently she had meetings with our HR office as well. And not about her benefits package.
We've been told several times (and I've been informed by the president) that our office will be "restructured." That's what the new president's marching orders have been. He's shaking stuff up...and if it doesn't happen (stuff isn't shaken up enough, I guess), he'll "take care of it himself." Yes, those are his words.
Obviously the new people in the administration are going to be kicking ass and taking names. This is scary and, regardless of the fact that everyone tells me middle management are really the only positions at risk, I'm just itching to get the changes over with and get to work.
A co-worker of mine cried in my office yesterday. He's 50 and has two daughters. That kind of sums all of this up best. When someone twenty years older than you cries in your office.

Despite all the wackiness, I'm glad for this change. We need it. It's nice to see fresh ideas and faces.

My boss, though? She needs to watch her fucking back. Word on the street is that she's one of the first ones to get canned. I can only hope that's true.

More updates later, but that's where I stand right now. Nervous and excited, I guess. More anon.

WTF, Webmd?

2010-05-28T18:07:00.004-05:00

Looking up ways to help heal/relieve canker sores. I did a search with their little man by pointing to the area on the body that's causing problems. It asked if the following symptoms were possible:

It almost makes me feel like I'm missing out on something.

L.I.F.E.

2010-05-27T14:15:00.002-05:00

The husband and I had a seriously long talk last night about kids, work, school, house stuff, money, etc. You know - the fun stuff. We're fun people. Fun, fun, fun.

Actually, it didn't suck too much and I think the both of us left the conversation (held in bed while we both thought about sleeping then the both of us started THINKING and the sleep thing didn't happen) feeling maybe a little more at peace. Or at least that life is "do-able."

L.I.F.E.

Live It Fully Everyday

Lord, It Feels Eternal

Lately I've Felt Empty

Lets Ignite Firecrackers, Ethel

Leave. I Feel Explosive.

Fun with [f]otos

2010-05-24T12:59:00.003-05:00

Have you heard of Picnik? Very fun tool for uploading and editing pics (which I used to modify the snaps I took in the blog below).

Also, check out You Suck at Photoshop, if you haven't heard of it yet. It's comedy, it's how-to, it's awesome.

Fantabulous.

2010-05-23T15:35:00.003-05:00

Farmers market yesterday morning. Steak (grass-fed beef that we bought from a local farmer) for lunch today with fucking homemade peach cobbler for dessert. God Almighty. I love Sunday afternoons like this, where I digest and snooze, watching Return of the Jedi in between cat-naps. Yum.

Vanity.

2010-05-22T19:06:00.004-05:00

Here's the haircut:

100th post!

2010-05-21T20:23:00.003-05:00

YAY!

Digging the shit out of this:

Also got my haircut today. A FIFTEEN DOLLAR HAIRCUT THAT LOOKS AWESOME. Seriously, if you've an open mind and maybe a set of cojones, try out a salon school. A reputable one, at least. And check on Yelp to make sure others have tried the school with decent results.

Seriously, I couldn't be more pleased.

Went to another therapy session yesterday. Apparently I'm my harshest critic. How do you affirm yourself if, growing up as a Catholic, you were taught humility???

Indeed.

Because it's beautiful.

2010-05-17T15:46:00.004-05:00

Last week several of my books on childbirthing and breastfeeding came in the mail. I ordered them in hopes that I make some progress on getting certified as a birth doula (maybe sometime in the next two-ish years).

I started on Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth.

I'm almost done with it (it was hard putting it down, but you have to sleep at some point). I read through it hungrily.

I love it. I'm in love with the knowledge that birth is something beautiful and painful and real. It's (obviously) life-altering and amazing. And it's empowering. For some women, it can be orgasmic.

It's not something to be afraid of.

And realizing how in touch with my cycle I've become, I can't wait to experience it.

I KNOW, right? Getting excited about labor? Sure, maybe I'm crazy. But I can't wait to understand and experience something that profound and PHYSICAL.

I can't wait to see what I'm capable of.

Therapy

2010-05-13T08:59:00.004-05:00

So, I started seeing a therapist.

Growing up in a Catholic household, we got our therapy from priests - mostly this just ended up making me feel guilty about anything and everything, even shit I've never done. Now that I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore, I'm seeking help from professional listeners.

It's weird to talk about my problems for an hour. I don't have anything disastrous going on, and I kind of freaked out a little before my last session. Like my problems weren't really important enough to discuss...why waste my time? Or the therapist's time?

But that's when I realized I needed to talk about them. Once our session started, I saw that the things I need help with ARE valid. I need goals to work through these problems, and I can make actual progress with the sessions that I'm in. I felt really validated.

I was also given the task of finding things that affirm me, on a daily basis. I've noticed a pattern - most of them are related to my interactions with other people (well, that seems kind of obvious, I think). When people come looking for my help or just need someone to talk to - I get joy out of that. It's really interesting, find the patterns in my behavior. I'm trying not to fixate on that or anything, though. I kind of just want to start off by noticing how I react to situations, not dwelling on why I feel a certain way.

In other news, the Brazilian wax hurt a lot.

wherein I could never be your woman.

2010-05-12T10:30:00.002-05:00

Paul Rudd = awesome. I knew I liked him before. But now I'm in love. YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS SHIT OUT.

On a related note, I'm getting a Brazilian wax done today. Onward and upward!

wherein I appreciate someone's art

2010-05-04T17:02:00.004-05:00

This is wicked cool.

Terry Border's art. Even more cool shit is here.

wherein it becomes glaringly obvious how not-awful my life is.

2010-04-28T19:29:00.006-05:00

Watching a special on TLC tonight about Mandy Sellars, a British woman who was born with a severe deformity, causing her legs and feet to grow abnormally large in comparison to the rest of her body.

She's in her 30s and her legs continue to grow. It sounds like she had one of her legs amputated earlier this year to help relieve some of the side effects associated with the syndrome.

But get this: on her website, she has a page where she blogs about all of the concerts she's been to.

I started choking up after seeing that.

Mandy is making the most of her life. This is a woman who was born in 1975 with a very visible abnormality, and "it wasn't until a few weeks later that i was actually allowed home with my parents as the doctors did not know if i would live or die, but hey I'm still here at 33 having fun!" (sic)

Her courage is astounding. We live in a world where woman fret over additional weight or circles under their eyes or less-than-perfect labia -- and this woman struggles with her body growing so fast that her heart could fail.

Time to take a step back and remember how blessed I am.

wherein I phone it in again.

2010-04-24T12:04:00.007-05:00

Loving Muse right now. Specifically:

wherein I'm totally cured.

2010-04-23T14:07:00.003-05:00

I went to my first counseling session yesterday afternoon.

It went really well, but afterwards I realized I had a lot to think about. We discussed a wide range of topics and touched on some key issues...which kind of opened other doors, as well. I guess that's what's supposed to happen. I think I really like my therapist. He's very objective, but not standoff-ish.

I started going to the gym at lunch (see workout from the other day). I'm bringing a friend with me, too, which also helps. My legs are still giving me trouble, even though I'm doing exercises that are lower in impact than the running I'd been doing. Fuck you, too, Running.

I might use this space over the next couple of weeks to figure out some of the things that we discussed in my session and what I feel like I need to work through. I feel as though one of my main issues -- at least something that I can actively work on -- is emotional eating.

So you'll get to put up with a lot of navel-gazing and introspection. Joy!

More brilliance to come.

wherein I just can't help myself.

2010-04-20T13:06:00.002-05:00

Updates, in no particular order:

- went to a sports therapist - have issues with my hip and have symptoms of plantar fascitis, ITB syndrome and Achilles tendonitis. Woohoo!! Needless to say, I won't be running that 10 mile race in a couple weeks. This is still sinking in.

- going to a therapist (for my head) on Thursday.

- celebrating three years together with my husband (we dated for one year and he proposed...we got married in October of 2008) on Thursday, too.

- pushing through work stuff. But have decided to use the gym (for free here at work) during lunch to help get through the days and make my ass smaller.

Today's workout:

15 minutes on treadmill

3 different machines for arms

2 free-weight arm exercises

10 minutes on elliptical

2 sets of crunches

1 set of "bicycle" crunches

About a 30 minute workout. Not bad.

wherein I make your life that much easier

2010-04-14T18:58:00.003-05:00

Unless you're a vegetarian.

Here's a SUPER easy dinner I whipped up tonight. I didn't really measure a damn thing.

1/2 box of pasta (I used farfalle pasta and it wasn't an exact measurement)

Jimmy Dean (or something similar) sausage - 1/2 of one of those tube things

1 head of broccoli, chopped into bite size pieces

Fresh basil, for the hell of it, torn into smaller pieces

1 can of stewed tomatoes

butter (optional)

fresh parmesan (optional)

Boil a pot of water and add pasta. Cook until al dente.

Brown the sausage in a fairly large skillet. Add the broccoli and basil. Let these mingle for a little bit, until broccoli turns a brighter, deeper green. It should still be a bit crunchy.

Add can of stewed tomatoes and work through the broccoli/sausage mix. Add pasta and work that through, too.

I added butter, for a little more depth. Like a quarter stick of butter. I mean it's BUTTER, y'all. That's why.

Then I grated parmesan cheese into the skillet and mixed it in until it melted. You can take the skillet off of the heat at this point.

I added parmesan as a garnish when I made my own plate.

You could totally use any kind of vegetable for this: spinach, squash, asparagus. I liked the green and red contrast.

And there's plenty of leftovers!

wherein I split into a million pieces

2010-04-12T15:37:00.013-05:00

I've talked before about my varying music tastes.

Well, recently I purchased a new iPod nano and went on a downloading binge. Mostly because I like listening to music when I'm on a treadmill (I have to listen to something if I'm on a monotonous treadmill) or on roadtrips or cleaning the house or whatever. And my mood is different for each of those activities.

So I'm always in search of new favorites. And my nano holds 8 GB - but that's A LOT for someone like me. I don't know why I don't listen to more music or buy more than I do. I feel like I've kind of stopped over the past few years. I love music and love finding new bands and artists. Maybe it feels safer to stick with what I know and not branch out. Or maybe I've been worried I'll discover "too much" new stuff and wouldn't be able to keep up with all of it.

Until this downloading binge. I couldn't stop. I can tell that I need even more music already, because I'm tiring of what's on my playlist now, or at least desperate to find similar tunes.

Here's what's in my head:

1. Black Keys - 10 AM Automatic

Because funky, raw, loud rock can be simple AND sexy.

2. Rodrigo y Gabriela - Diablo Rojo

A guy and a girl. Two guitars. MAGIC.

3. Nine Inch Nails - Discipline

I will always have a crush on Trent Reznor, no matter who he marries, how often he quits Tweeting, or how short he cuts his hair. He brings out the angsty teenager in me, and I love it.

And the lyrics? "I need your discipline." Don't even get me started.

I mean, LOOK:

And yes, he DOES look like Severus Snape (who I also have a crush on).

Sorry - I got sidetracked.

4. AC/DC - Thunderstruck

Chuck Klosterman has said far more eloquent things about AC/DC and their ability to "RAWK," so I won't try to wax poetic about their abilities. This song is just fun. And you HAVE to listen to it in the car. Yes, with the windows down - how could you NOT share fucking ANGUS YOUNG with the world???

5. OK Go - This Too Shall Pass

They're smart musicians and they totally get viral marketing and what their fans are into. Also, every member of that band is hot. Yes, even the bald guy. They wear SUITS, y'all.

6. Missy Elliott - Shake It Like a Pom Pom

You can't NOT dance to this.

7. Radiohead - Like Spinning Plates

I don't think Radiohead could ever do wrong. Ever. I'm serious.

8. Tool - Aenima

And I don't like every single song they've done, but Tool is genius as well. Yes, genius. I know, I know - Maynard Keenan is what you'd call an "interesting guy":

Have you heard him scream, though? It's unworldly and awesome and scary. And the band's talent is seriously unbelievable. Like maybe they made a pact with the devil or something to be that creative. There's a great article here about them: 33 Things You Should Know About Tool.

I've been adding more stuff by Andrew Bird and Beirut as well. There's just so much talent out there. And I haven't even touched on older stuff like Billie Holliday or the Beatles or Jimi Hendrix or Muddy Waters or Beethoven!

You could probably live a thousand years and never hear all of the music that's been created. Which is strangely comforting.

wherein I have to remind myself how blessed I really am.

2010-04-07T17:04:00.004-05:00

This list of mine got posted on Secret Society of List Addicts.

I kind of need to remember that I really wrote that, considering all of the bitching I like to do.

wherein I get all reflective about shit.

2010-04-05T15:29:00.003-05:00

The lovely Nicole wrote this "bigger picture" blog, and yeah, it got me thinking.

Because, as she puts it: "maybe I spend too much time focusing on what I don’t know when I should be focusing on what I do know..."

For a twenty-something, that's pretty damned profound. And of COURSE Nicole only spews profundity. But to realize that focusing on what you do actually KNOW is a much more "efficient" way of getting through life...well, some people never realize that. Ever.

And that got me thinking. About where I'm at, where I want to end up, what I should be doing. So here's my list.

Here's what I know.

1. As cynical as I can be, I love people. I love picking their brains and asking questions and really, truly listening. I like making them feel good, and that they're being listened to and important.

2. I love feeling helpful and needed. I like being the strong, stable, dependent one.

3. I know that I still need guidance. I need a good leader.

4. I know that no matter what physical exercise I do, I've always come back to running as the most challenging and rewarding. I feel more accomplished calling myself a "runner."

5. I know that there is NO ONE else on this planet who could put up with my quirks, negativity and bullshit - no one EXCEPT my husband. His personality and mine complement each other almost perfectly. I'm not sure how we got so lucky.

6. I know that my husband and I would work very well together, in a business setting.

7. I know that I wouldn't be able to push through shit here at work without the love and support of my husband and family.

I suppose that'll do for now. I think I'd like to come back and revisit some of this. So...until then...

wherein I think I might have screwed myself over a little.

2010-04-05T12:49:00.003-05:00

Last week I got back from a great vacation (visiting friends up in NYC) and tried to get back into my running program again. I did the previous week's 6 mile run.

I finished it. I was sore and tired, of course. But I finished.

Fast forward to the next day.

My throat starts getting irritated. By that evening, it's kind of on fire. I drink water like crazy. Thankfully (Easter Break) I have Friday off...but spend the whole day on the couch.

Then I get a wicked cold.

It could have just been allergies - this is TEXAS, after all.

But today, I'm coughing a lot and cannot breathe AT ALL. I'm doing the Nyquil thing, doing the neti pot thing. While that helps a little, I can't seem to kick it. And now I'm starting to feel really out of it. And tired.

Maybe I overtrained? Maybe I wasn't quite ready for the six miles, and that just sort of did me in. I was already emotionally/physically drained from work and then getting back from vacation. Our bodies know when we fuck ourselves over, and that can manifest itself in weird ways.

All I know is, I need to be able to run 10 miles on May 1st. So I think my plan of action is that I'll work towards getting better and, y'know, stick to the running...then it's just showing up for the race, right?

wherein I learn a little more about my particular ayurvedic personality, just by chance

2010-04-04T14:53:00.002-05:00

The husband and I went to an Easter brunch today, over at a friend's house. One of the party-goers was a yoga teacher. I told him that I'm getting into running, but I know that it's kind of, um, BAD for you (well, relatively speaking) and had thought about incorporating a yoga practice as well, to kind of balance everything out.

And this yoga teacher likes to talk -- and talk he did. About the best practice for runners, about an ideal yoga practice for me, based on ayurvedic teachings, etc., etc. Because that's what you talk about over Easter brunch, right?

Well, he said that he figured me to be a water personality (with maybe a little fire) and I found that really interesting. And probably very accurate. So if you're interested in what your ayurvedic personality type might be, check this stuff out: http://www.ayurbalance.com/explore_articlethreedoshas.htm

Maybe he was full of shit, but I found it to be super interesting.

wherein my awesome ideas are kind of recognized

2010-04-03T18:43:00.002-05:00

Remember this post, in which I bragged about how cool my little brother and I are and make up fun, awesome phrases that everyone will LOVE to use?

Yeah, it's on Urban Dictionary now.

It's totally just a matter of time until it's in the Oxford Dictionary. I just KNOW IT.

wherein I apologize again and again

2010-04-03T18:26:00.003-05:00

It's been too long.

Updates:

Our office's boss was fired. We got a new president and he fired our office's boss on his FIRST EFFING DAY. If that doesn't send a message, I don't know what else does.

While I'd prefer that my boss (the one I answer to directly) got fired instead, a lot of people are thinking she's next. Her management is a huge problem, and I actually TOLD the new president that. I think he's going to be changing a lot of stuff in the office. This is good.

The main question is how long am I sticking it out now? I've been miserable for sooo long.

But a huge part of the problem was taken out of the equation. I trust the new president. He likes me. He actually recommends that I do certain jobs and take on more responsibility - he recommends that to my boss. Which is good. I'm kind of indispensable, in some sense.

And, let's face it. With my husband getting to take classes FOR FREE, and the fact that I make decent money right now...well...it's easier not to change everything up.

And I haven't heard squat about the other position, so I've kind of forgotten/written off that option.

So. That's how that story goes.

As for running -- well, I've stuck to the program, slipping up at times...but I ran SIX MILES the other day. More than I've ever run EVER. EVER. Seriously.

The running has been a really big deal. I'm more confident in my abilities. I can run six miles, y'all. And at times, when I run, I imagine that when I'm having a hard time or want to just quit - I imagine that it's my bitchy boss keeping me from running. And I have to prove her wrong.

So I cuss a lot when I run. I run to prove to my boss that I'm better than her. That I'm stronger. Because I AM.

Anyway, more anon. It's been too long and I don't mean to neglect this blog. But it's been a little...weird....with all of the changes at work. Very stressful, kind of relieving...but a little exhausting.

On that note - I'm off to relax for the rest of the night. Kisses!

wherein i feel pretty amazing about all this good news, except i have this rash...

2010-02-20T14:49:00.002-06:00

I really do have kind of a rash. I'll explain in a minute.

So - the job. I'll hear something next week (so, in the next few days). My interview (my THIRD) was on Friday and went so, so well. I really couldn't have hoped for anything better.

I also finished my first three mile run with my running group today!! It's been over a year, maybe two, since I ran that far.

But, a word of warning. Don't get a Brazilian wax the DAY BEFORE a 3 mile run. Don't even think about it.

Ouch.

wherein I'm ashamed of my absence but have some news to show for it, y'all, I swear.

2010-02-12T12:15:00.000-06:00

Two bits of news.

My new slang phrase is totally on Urban Dictionary.

And I'm 88% sure I have a new job. I need some confirmation from the hiring manager. Essentially they liked me, but because the job is a little mundane and a paycut, they want to make sure I'll stick around...so there's a possibility of a long-term raise/new position in new branch type thing, but I'll have to interview for that, too.

More details to come.

I'm otherwise losing my mind and have fucking checked out of my current job, even though I sit at my desk like I'm working. Suckers.

wherein I submit genius phrases to urbandictionary, because I'm convinced of my genius

2010-02-03T10:01:00.002-06:00

Remember this phrase that my little brother and I came up with?

Yeah, I totally submitted it to Urban Dictionary. If they don't publish it, they're idiots.

wherein I can't wait to give my bitchofaboss the middle finger as I'm leaving...but remain positive because of a kick-ass blog design contest

2010-02-02T22:16:00.002-06:00

Blog design contest. It's making me want to live to see another day.

Details here.

The crazy roommates who came up with the idea blog here and here. They are amazing and beautiful, understand?

wherein I wonder how much longer I can manage

2010-02-01T18:41:00.002-06:00

I've been searching, almost frantically, for another job.

My weight is at an all time high, but I'm finding it really hard to control my eating. I'm loving my running and it's truly a high point when I do it. But eating, or at least not really tracking what I eat, is something that gives me joy. There's not alot that gives me joy right now.

Thankfully my husband puts up with these funks that I'm dealing with. I'm a lucky bitch, I'll just say.

I've heard from a couple people and I have friends that are keeping an eye out for open positions. But not knowing WHEN I can leave my job has started to get to me. ALOT.

I apologize for the lack of posting, but this has truly bogged me down. I'm hoping for a change in tone soon.

wherein I feel a little bit hopeless, but know that things will turn out how they're "supposed to."

2010-01-28T10:32:00.003-06:00

I'm helping out with this donations drive for the Haiti victims. That's been good for my soul (if I still have one). I do like that particular "hat" that I wear in my position. We do volunteer stuff, and it's good. I like reaching out and seeing other perspectives. I'm thankful for that.

But I sit across from my boss's office, and y'know how in some of the vampire movies, the vampire is able to turn into a fog or mist? Well, I've been feeling like my boss has this air of shitty-ness around her, and that shitty-ness forms into a cloud, which seeps into my office in the form of depression and despair.

It's bleak, I know.

I think I'm getting to the point where I've made contacts, I've sent out resumes, and I'm waiting. And while I wait, I notice more and more just how negative an impact my boss has made on me. Maybe I need to change my perspective on her, but I have a feeling that I'll be bitter and resentful about my office (and ESPECIALLY my boss) for awhile. A long while.

None of this is helped by the fact that my dog, Mollie, has been just awful lately. I would never hurt her, and I DO love her and love that she's a part of our family. But I pictured her drowning yesterday, and wasn't as sad as I thought I'd be. It didn't help that yesterday was a particularly bad day.

I did get a feeling of peace sometime last week. All I can see right now is what's going on around me. And I'm doing what I can to stay sane and keep a healthy-ish mindset. I realized (and this is what helped give me some peace) that I won't be going through this kind of stress for the rest of my life. I won't be in this job forever, I won't be in this situation forever, and I can have hope that things will improve for me. The question is when, I suppose.

But, amazing as I am (ha!), I wasn't gifted with a sixth sense about that kind of thing. Only time will tell.

wherein I include another update on career stuff

2010-01-22T10:19:00.004-06:00

I discussed that position on Tuesday with the guy who would potentially hire me. It was less of a "salary/what can you bring to the position/interview" conversation, more of a "we think you'd fit into another higher position but aren't technically hiring for it yet/we like you" type conversation. But there will be other options in the future there, and now my foot is in the door. I guess. I left a little disappointed, a little hopeful, and more confused. But, y'know, when does anyone have all the answers?

I've also reached out to other people that I've known through work. Y'know, through "networking." Which is something I would NEVER have thought of - not five years ago, that's for sure.

So, I'm feeling good. I mean, I'm still employed. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

wherein I try to stay consistent

2010-01-22T09:12:00.004-06:00

So, it's Friday again. How did THAT happen?

And now I have to come up with a top ten again. Shit. But I promised. I KNOW! Top Ten songs that will ALWAYS put me in a good mood, no matter what.

(Again, not in a particular order.)

1. Marvin Gaye's "Got to Give it Up, Part 1"

2. The Cars "My Best Friend's Girl"

3. Beirut's "Elephant Gun"

4. Joe Cocker's cover of "With a Little Help from My Friends" (Woodstock version)

5. Guster's "Keep it Together"

6. Jimi Hendrix's "Bold as Love"

7. Eric Clapton's Unplugged version of "Rollin' and Tumblin'"

8. Santana's "Samba Pa Ti"

9. Bob Marley's "Stir It Up"

10. Billie Holliday's "The Way You Look Tonight"

wherein I critique some of today's pop artists

2010-01-21T08:44:00.013-06:00

The sad part is that I still listen to pop music, so I'm actually familiar with that stuff. Stop judging me.

So, you've heard the "Birthday Sex" song, right? They kind of play it everywhere (apparently at a Dunkin Donuts in Dallas, even), but here's a link to listen (this is the original "smooth" version - and yes, there's a remix of this song).

I'd like to address what our poet, Jeremih, is trying to articulate. My comments are in orange.

Birthday Sex

Verse 1
It's yo birthday, so I know you want to ride out
Even if we only go to my house

It IS my birthday. I'm surprised that you remembered (seeing as how you forgot last year). Oh. We're just hanging out at your house again? Wait, I thought you got kicked out? Something about your mom didn't appreciate you leaving used condoms on the kitchen counter.

Sip mo-eezy as we sit upon my couch
Feels good, but I know you want to cry out

Yes, the couch is comfy. And thanks for the drink! So, how is ever...oh, we're making out now. Without even really talking or wishing me "Happy Birthday."

You say u want passion, I think you found it
Get ready for action, don't be astounded
We switching positions, you feel surrounded
Tell me where you want your gift, girl

I'd tell you what kind of gift I wanted, but I'm pretty sure you had something else in mind. And that something else is digging into my thigh.

Chorus
Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I
I been fiendin'
Wake up in the late night
Been dreamin about your loving, girl

Wow - so you've been planning this for awhile. AND you've been dreaming about it.

Girl you know I-I-I, Girl you know I-I-I
Don't need candles and cake

No cake???

Just need your body to make...
Birthday sex... Birthday sex oohoohoohooh
(It's the best day of the year girl)

"Best day." Well, I guess, but you seem insistent on getting this sex thing done before we have a real party. There is a party after this, right?

Birthday sex... Birthday sex oohoohoohooh
(G-spot g-spot let me hit that g-spot g-spot girl)

Yeah - that's not my G-spot. Nope, not there, either.

Verse 2
See you sexy in them jeans got me on 10
1-2-3... Think I got you pinned

Yeah, my arm is asleep now, actually.

Don't tap out, fight until the end
Ring that bell, and we gon start over again

What bell? We have to start over AGAIN??

We grindin with passion, 'cause it's your birthday

Because if it weren't my birthday, we would not be grinding with passion, obvs.

Been at it for hours, I know you thirsty

Actually, I really wouldn't mind some water. Oh. All you have is champagne.

You kiss me so sweetly, taste just like Hershey's
Just tell me how you want you gift, girl

Here - you just tell me what gift you're going to give me and how hard and that you'll do it "mo-eezy" and all that.

There's another verse and several repeats of the chorus during which our poet promises to "hit that G-spot." Which is funny, because if you're continuously switching positions on me, I don't think you'll actually have time to find it.

I'm still not sure quite how popular this song is. Why it's played on the radio at all is beyond me. Do people not even pay attention to lyrics? And apparently the G-spot doesn't exist anymore.

wherein i come up with a great idea snap JUST. LIKE. THAT.

2010-01-15T16:17:00.005-06:00

How about a Top Ten List every Friday, y'all?

That's right. These things just come to me sometimes and I cannot even control that shit.

So, for this week's Friday Top Ten, we'll do the Top Ten blog posts of the week. Ready? Okay.

(These aren't in any particular order at all.)

1. Not That Kind of Girl is a ballsy twenty-something who dared to drop her pants for No Pants Day and even rode a damn subway while doing it. Yeah, I know.

2. Hope4Peyton. This was another update post. A lot of awesome bloggers that I read know about Anissa. She suffered from a stroke sometime before Thanksgiving and is now in rehabilitation. There are improvements, lots of them. Her husband Peter blogs on Hope4Peyton. Why is this amazing? Because this one woman affected so many lives, and the whole situation proves that humans are still good creatures.

3. This post from The Bloggess. I'm a huge fan, and shit, y'all - we get to see Jenny in her bathrobe in this one.

4. From Cranky Fitness. I LOVE HOW REALISTIC THESE LADIES ARE. Just...thank you. Because sometimes I'd rather eat a box of Thin Mints and NOT fit in a thirty minute run...and they get that.

5. Nicole is Better and her post on dealing with the American healthcare system. Or birth control.

6. Livit Luvit's TMI Thursday. Just a great idea, and it had a Post Secret theme again this week, so, double win!

7. Amy Turn Sharp's Friday love letters. I love how she writes.

8. I love how she writes, too.

9. Eating Journey's guest post on body image, from a male point of view.

10. And this Health Blog update from the Wall Street Journal about the situation in Haiti.

wherein i give you a little update on that job thing

2010-01-14T09:49:00.003-06:00

I have an interview next Tuesday. I probably don't want the exact position that I applied for (less pay, I'm a little overqualified), but the hiring manager wants to talk with me about being his Assistant Director. So there's THAT.

Commence crossing fingers, praying, sending good vibes, etc.

wherein i realize that i'm not really "with it," and i'm not sure that i ever really was.

2010-01-13T11:40:00.008-06:00

Music tastes. They change with age and in between relationships and over coffee.

My taste in music has developed alot over the years, and started with the Beach Boys and The Cars, which I became familiar with because of my parents. I grew up a little and started noticing pop music (New Kids on the Block, Tiffany, MC Hammer, etc). Then I got to 7th or 8th grade and went grunge. I worshiped Kurt Cobain for a while. Green Day was cute.

Throughout highschool I stuck with alternative rock but delved back into classic rock (Zeppelin, The Who, Jimi Hendrix). I found out about smaller bands like Ben Folds Five and Guster.

I got to college and discovered alot of interesting stuff, but I went to Europe and also got into more pop and techno (against my better judgment).

I had one or two serious relationships where the guy forced his music on me ("forced" is too strong - I liked some of it and still do). I even bought some music, despite ending the relationship and swearing off any reminders of said relationships. Weird how the music sticks around...

Now I listen to whatever catches my ear. Unfortunately that means some pop music still, although it's hard to keep up with. Even more difficult to keep up with are the scores of "indie" bands that seem to pop up overnight. I can't keep up anymore. My sister is alot better at finding new stuff, so really I just steal from her (hence the Beirut video in previous post).

I guess the point here is that my 25 year old self might be a little disappointed with my soon-to-be 30 year old self. But I guess I knew it was coming. Because the music doesn't define me and probably never has, even though I wanted it to sometimes. There's a little more to me than my music collection, which includes the latest from Timbaland, the best cover EVER, and harder to find stuff like this.

So here's to diversity and eclectic tastes. You're allowed to like Britney Spears and A Hawk and A Hacksaw at the same time, no matter what they tell you.

wherein i phone in another post with a video that strikes me as cool or interesting

2010-01-13T11:34:00.005-06:00

Beirut.

Man, I like this.

wherein i feel like i'm getting my shit together, sort of.

2010-01-12T12:42:00.003-06:00

And no, to those of you wondering, I'm not pregnant.

I did the run on Saturday. And finished it. I was an absolute turtle. I mean, DAMN, I was slow. But I finished. And I'm promising myself that I'll finish every single run. By my 30th birthday (May 2nd of this year) I can say that I'm able to run 10 miles. Shit, maybe I'll run a marathon, too. AMAZING.

No word on that other job just yet. Keep those fingers crossed. The hiring manager has an event in Vegas starting Thursday, so that might be some of the issue there.

I'm in love with these bloggers right now:

It's like I'm....mmmagic!

More is Better

Not That Kind of Girl

Only three for the moment. I'd like to do something more with my blogroll. There are alot of bloggers that I love reading, and that I think are quality writers with heartfelt and meaningful (and shit-your-pants funny) words. Maybe interviewing them? I dunno.

More anon!

wherein I get excited about a new job prospect and also kind of freak out about not starting my period yet.

2010-01-08T13:35:00.003-06:00

Yeah, apologies to any male readers out there. Which would probably be my husband. And only my husband.

So, a list of good and bad things that happened in the last week/since my last post:

- guilt over not posting sooner
- first meeting with running club
- joy at finding an awesome group to run with
- fear over our first run on Saturday, when the windchill will be like negative 15 or something. Fuck you, too, Texas.
- giddiness over a new job prospect
- excitement at the thought of two of my dearest friends being in town
- contentment, in general (FINALLY)

I ate two cookies just now, though, so there's probably a good reason why this post is so goddamned cheery.

Will keep everyone posted on the running thing. I'm nervous, but feel really good about the possibilities.

As for the job - I can't jinx it just yet. It's pretty damn promising, though. It would alter the plans that I mentioned in previous posts, but that's okay. My husband and I are "going with the flow," as the kids say. It's our new thing.

because that's how i roll, Y'ALL.

2009-12-31T12:54:00.005-06:00

The husband and I have been out of town, with family, and on the road over the past week or so. Hence no updates. Hence your sadness. Hence your suicide. I apologize.

But I'm here! It's okay now. Shh.

I'm feeling good about 2010 because of a couple things:

1) My husband. He's STILL WITH ME, you guys. Seriously. Yeah.
2) We came up with a plan for me to get into a massage therapy program (giving therapy, not getting it), and being able to quit my job. Hopefully this year. Like maybe June. We'll see. It will require acting like we're poor and not ever taking showers and probably not eating. Yay!
3) I'll be 30. And I've joined the Dallas Running Club and will start training next week. To run really far and really fast. For realz.

So, I'll catch you on the flip side. Things are fucking turning around, bitches. :)

I'm giving you the hardest thumbs-up ever.

sweeping the damn nation

2009-12-22T15:20:00.002-06:00

My fifteen year old brother and I have been hanging out today (I actually brought him to work with me this afternoon - fun times). We chat about the goofiest things - lately we've been sharing ideas for new fun phrases. The best so far? "Killing the wizard." (which came up because of a game he'd been playing on his iPhone)

We think this could be used in several ways, but aren't sure of the best definition yet.

You could use it as slang for urinating: "Man, I drank way too much beer. Better go kill the wizard."

You could use it to reference your drug habit: "I spent most of yesterday killing the wizard, so I don't really remember that conversation."

Your could use it as a way to refer to an epic victory: "The Cowboys killed the wizard at their game on Sunday."

What do you think? Maybe I shouldn't be talking about crude acts or drugs with my fifteen year old brother?

That's what I thought, too.

i'm dreaming

2009-12-21T16:00:00.000-06:00

I fucking love Otis Redding.

because it feels like a huge upheaval

2009-12-21T11:04:00.003-06:00

I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. Not that anyone really ever comes up with THE ANSWER. I mean, we're all just kind of figuring all of it out, right?

I think after getting married and doing the "life" thing with my husband, I'm realizing more and more everyday that all-of-this isn't really where I want to end up. I guess I've known that. But the issue is that I find myself wanting something else more and more. And I'm totally not taking the time to appreciate the good things going on right now (awesome husband, two cool dogs, a nice house, a JOB, etc).

We could get rid of stuff and live on less of a budget and maybe sell the house and a car and live frugally and all of that...but it would be such a huge, massive change, and I guess we've gotten comfortable...and is my current situation just SO AWFUL that I can't suck it up for a little while longer and just deal with it??

So I've got that going on. Which is just great.

Of course, I'm off for a week (well, count the weekends and it's about ten days). That should help me to sort out some stuff, too.

I guess, to sum up - I can't figure out what the hell I want anymore. I don't know what I like or where to go. Can you just email me the answer? Yeah? Thanks.

inspiration in the style of me

2009-12-16T09:19:00.006-06:00

Read this post from Runners World: WHY SHOULD I RUN?

It's a feature on the Runners World site: The Newbie Chronicles.

Because good habits take weeks to develop.

Because watching that extra hour of Family Guy isn't really necessary.

Because getting up early for a run can actually be worth it.

Because no, you don't see yourself looking like her, but you know that you can go down a pants size by keeping up with it. And having your pants fit is always good.

Because that "runner's high?" It does exist.

Because when you're listening to Beastie Boys' Sabotage, you can't just fucking WALK.

Because I can't see myself when I'm running, and I know I'm bouncing and jiggling and flopping all over the damn place, but I really feel like this:

From DailyMail

Because I can, because I've done it before, and because the only direction I can go from here is up.

yep, that could end badly

2009-12-14T21:29:00.003-06:00

I signed up for a running club, which will also include a couch to 10 mile training program! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Here's hoping. (I think paying for the membership and training kind of scared me into knowing I have to try harder. Yikes.)

This will be me in the next couple of months:

Courtesy DailyMail

a reminder to myself

2009-12-14T13:22:00.002-06:00

That I should always visit this blog before beating myself up over not meeting my goal last week of working out 4 times.

Thanks AGAIN, Cranky Fitness. This post helped me more than you'll ever know.

brandy, you're a fine girl

2009-12-14T09:37:00.002-06:00

I'm using lyrics for my blog titles, because I'm that lazy. Apologies. But I guess it gives you insight into my music taste (or lack of). So, you're welcome. :)

Christmas is slowly approaching. While we've finished shopping for most of our family, neither my husband or I have even started shopping for each other. I think the both of us have a good idea of what we want to get for the other person. It's funny, after getting married, the presents kind of change a little. Like, you know what gifts that person actually needs -- maybe not totally what they want (a new video/computer game!), but it's something they need (new pants!). It's still the thought that counts, right? I guess...

So, sorry to ruin the surprise, sweetie, but here's what you're getting this year. I love you.

Courtesy Traveling Pet Products

all i want for christmas is you...

2009-12-12T08:28:00.003-06:00

Today is the last day of one of my husband's classes. It's probably the worst class ever, just from my perspective (his, too, actually).

It's two weeks long. Which means he went to class Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 5:30 pm to 9:30 pm (right after work) and on Saturday from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm. That was for two weeks, which wound up feeling like several MONTHS, because it just sucked and we were both SO ready for him to get done with it.

It's his last day - hopefully the professor has a heart and lets everyone out just a little early today.

Because my husband pulled an all nighter last night with his classmates to prepare for their presentations today. My husband didn't even come home last night. I saw him briefly yesterday evening before he headed off to a diner to work with his classmates. It sucked. It has sucked. For two weeks I don't feel like I've had a husband. And if you've only been married for about a year, that's not cool.

Needless to say, I had a rough time sleeping by myself last night. I just can't anymore. When my husband comes home today, you can bet I'll attach myself to him at the hip for the next couple days, at least :)

I'm so proud of you, sweetie! You did it!

anything you want in the world

2009-12-10T08:27:00.003-06:00

Well, I got to the gym last night, did my time on the treadmill. I was grateful for that. I just kind of sucked it up and went. Which is just what I need to do from now on. And I'm really trying to do this work-out-four-times-a-week thing. I can stick to that.

And y'know, once I'm there, the workout is easy. It's making time to get there and all of that. Once I get on the treadmill, that's my time and I'm good.

So, yay.

Also, yay for this song. I know, I know. Mariah Carey? Christmas music? I can't even help it. I'm sorry.

trying not to beat myself up

2009-12-09T08:17:00.002-06:00

Well, I did NOT work out last night. After grocery shopping, picking up dinner, and spending a little time with my husband, it was about 8:30 pm. And yeah, I finished watching the Biggest Loser. I debated on heading over to the gym. But I didn't.

I guess there's tonight, but I'm picking up my Little Sister (I'm paired with her through Big Brothers Big Sisters) at 6:30 pm after work to go look at Christmas lights. And I guess I just need to work out later.

How do I do it - I mean, life gets in the way. I'm making excuses, I know...but I also can't run myself ragged when so much other crap is going on. And, well, it's not "crap" - it's important stuff, like getting laundry done or Christmas shopping or making dinner. How do people do it?

sleepy head

2009-12-08T20:33:00.004-06:00

Here's another looksie at the work of Sophie Blackall:

Sleepy Head

Sophie Blackall

Love it.

missed connections

2009-12-08T16:59:00.003-06:00

Nerve, a site I've been visiting for...gosh, a long time now...over ten years, maybe? Well, they recently featured illustrations from Sophie Blackall, who detailed, in drawings, Craigslist's Missed Connections. You can see the illustrations here.

Really brilliant. Her illustrations are gorgeous and soft -- and humorous (like CL's Missed Connections tend to be). Worth a look.

santa, baby

2009-12-08T11:33:00.004-06:00

I really have always loved this song (Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby"). But I can't help and wonder EXACTLY what the line "Come and trim my Christmas tree" REALLY means.

yeah, i'm phoning it in today

2009-12-08T10:37:00.002-06:00

I wanted to go to the gym last night, but found it incredibly easy to convince myself that I needed a night off.

And my goal is still set at working out 4 times a week.

I won't be able to work out after work tomorrow. So I have to go work out tonight.

Note: I said "have to."

It feels like an obligation, which I back out of all the time...usually for a less-than-stellar reason.

I'm going to do some thinking about this. I WILL be going to the gym tonight. I'll feel good about it. But it's hard this week. There's a lot going on: Christmas shopping. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Taking the dogs out. The Dishes. Dinner.

How do people handle all of it? Am I just a bad person? Is there something I'm not getting?

I'm inspired by those people who are so organized but have SO MUCH going on, but they still managed to, like, train for a fucking marathon. And their house is clean, they always look great, and they're holding down a good job and up for promotion.

I want that. Sometimes I feel like I actually deserve that. Actually - I know I deserve that. Contentment, I mean. The satisfaction of knowing I can stick to something, for once.

I do deserve that.

so jump in bed and swallow your head, 'cause santa claus comes tonight.

2009-12-07T14:04:00.002-06:00

Yay!

Thanks to my awesome husband, we got the damn tree up!

bing crosby, cookies and satisfaction.

2009-12-06T21:03:00.002-06:00

The Saturday evening event went off without a hitch. My boss even hugged me when we finished up, saying I'd done a "great job." I wish I didn't need to hear that from her...I wish I could just KNOW I'm doing a good job and NOT need her approval.

Is there a way to buy confidence? Or snort it, maybe?

Finishing up the last of the chocolate chip cookies. We put up the tree today and did alot of our online shopping.

All in all, a successful day. And Mollie didn't pee anywhere!

jillian michaels is the devil

2009-12-05T07:49:00.003-06:00

I bought Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred a while back and tried it out a few times.

Well, last night, I got home a little late, and the gym closed at 7:00 pm, so I needed to do SOMEthing. So I did her beginner's workout.

Yowza. It was only 20 minutes but I FELT it, y'all. I had to sit out on the 70th set of pushups and on the last half of the 176th set of jumping jacks, but it felt good overall. I know if you keep up with it, you'll find the workouts a bit easier...and then can graduate to the next step.

I was a little annoyed at all the commercials and chatter about Biggest Loser and also Jillian's monologue at the beginning of the DVD (we know you're tough shit, Jilly), but all in all, I'm pleased with my purchase.

Unfortunately, I did a shit job at eating yesterday - we didn't have milk, so for breakfast I had these frozen Chinese "bao" things. Don't laugh. I know. Then for lunch? Two White Castle frozen hamburgers. Dinner? Pei Wei's Chicken Pad Thai. Combine all of that with "snacks" (a Reese's cup here, a Snickers there)...I had like over 2,000 calories yesterday. Damn it all.

So, I guess I DO need to count calories. At least for a bit, to help get things on track again.

I also really like Cranky Fitness' 90/10 rule. It makes alot of sense, and still allows for "accidentally" eating ice cream or a cupcake every now and then.

I have an event for work tonight (a Christmas party that I had to plan - which sounds fun but not when you're planning it), so today is totally wasted. I really can't enjoy the day that much at all, because I worry so much about everything going PERFECTLY. Well, perfect according to my boss. HA!

christmas wishes and my toes.

2009-12-04T09:14:00.005-06:00

Really, I hate making out a list for Christmas, because I like surprises and I like gifts from the heart.

But because of this post on Cranky Fitness, I'm asking for these:

Photo courtesy of Yoga Pro

They're Yoga Toes!! Who the hell DOESN'T want stretched out toes?

I wear heels at work and I'm getting back into running. I think these will really help prevent injury and general-fucking-up-of-the-feet.

As for other gifts -- well, take your best guess. I'll love whatever you think of getting me. :)

recap for yesterday

2009-12-04T08:54:00.003-06:00

Had a really healthy dinner:

Chicken breast with lettuce, feta and balsamic-honey vinaigrette (<---seriously, I had to look up how to spell that)

Roasted Yams (which were soooooooo good)

AND I ran yesterday. I did 30 minutes of running-walking and a 5 minute cooldown.

I plan on getting to the gym tonight for another workout. Probably some strength training and elliptical. Bada-bing!

adjusting.

2009-12-03T14:24:00.003-06:00

OK, I took down the "What I ate today" page element (it was on the side column and I just wrote down everything I ate for one day). It's not doing what I need it to do.

I'll start recapping each day. Maybe that's boring, but I promise that this blog won't become my food journal. I promise.

So, starting with today, this is what I've had:

1 bowl Honey Bunches of Oats with reduced-fat milk

1 cup of coffee (cream and sugar)

1 chicken breast on a cheddar kaiser roll

1 Snickers (that I inhaled way too quickly)

Not sure about dinner yet. Maybe just something simple like sweet potatoes and some of the leftover chicken.

I really, really, really, really, really need to work on planning out meals and bringing my lunches. And making sure that it's healthy. Because journaling what I'm eating is, yes, helpful. But when I have entries like, "1 Snickers (that I inhaled way too quickly)"...well, that's not great. I have a problem with eating and food. That needs to be addressed. Obviously this isn't something fixable overnight. I've done a great job at forming this awful habit (or several, really) of eating when I'm bored/sad/happy/drunk/angry. And I have the tools (and surprisingly, there is some willpower in me) to handle it. Even with the holidays around the corner.

And here's a little history - I've probably been overweight (from just slightly to seriously overweight) since about highschool. I've stayed in the 130-175 lbs range (with 115 being a one-time low for me - I'm very, very short, and that's about what I'm "supposed" to weigh...whatever that means) for about 10 or 11 years.

And honestly, I'm not looking to weigh a specific amount. I just want to be more active, to feel better in general, and to know that I'm healthy. It feels like a long, long road. I know tracking my food helps. I hate counting calories, because I start *obsessing* in the most serious of ways, and then I totally sabotage myself. So. I'm trying to find a better way.

it's about that time!

2009-12-03T09:29:00.003-06:00

Yes, it is about that time. And by "that time," I mean my monthly visitor. Aunt Flow. You know the one.

I know because a) I keep track of my cycle, yes. But b) I'm seriously PMSing today. I must be. The tiniest things are getting to me, and I nearly broke down on the way into work this morning. By "broke down", I mean I almost lost it *emotionally* - not that my car almost broke down.

This is what happens when I'm PMSing.

It usually starts with one little thing getting on my nerves. Not that I get angry...I just worry. Like picking at a scab. You accidentally scratch at it at first, and then you obsess over it, you can't ignore it being there, and you pick. And pick. And pick.

I think the one little thing this time around might've been the dogs. Sake is itchy. He stays up throughout the night and scratches and chews and he's JUST MISERABLE. We treated him for fleas but found some last night while giving him a bath (with cooler water to try and help soothe his poor, red skin). I feel so awful for him. He needs another vet visit.

But then there's Mollie who, we discovered last night, peed. On our bed! Yayyyy!

We need to take her to behavior classes still. She needs exercise. But I'll need rollerblades or a bicycle to keep up with her. She's NEVER tired.

So there's the dogs.

But then there's our budget. And Christmas. And the groceries we need. And the dishes in the dishwasher. And getting the laundry done. And keeping up with my workouts, because my winter coat doesn't fit. And. And. And. And.

The list is long, and overwhelming. And at the top of that list (this is where I start to tear up), is my husband. I can't even type about it. I just worry about him feeling neglected and maybe like I don't support him. Because I've got all these other concerns, right?

And of course, there's all the things I worry about at work.

The thing is - I know alot of the weight that I feel is because of hormones. I don't have to take care of all of this at once. Something about the estrogen and progesterone and whattheeffeverelse just smacks me upside the head and makes me feel like I have to take care of everything NOW. So I pick at the scab.

I apologize for unloading. Sometimes I need that.

Now, let's just get through the day, shall we? I'll let you know how that goes.

advice from me.

2009-12-02T15:35:00.002-06:00

Just a bit of wisdom that I'm passing along, because I care about all of you readers out there.

Don't run your garbage disposal when there's a shot glass down in it.

(Or maybe my husband and I shouldn't be doing shots, because we're too old for that.)

baby, it's cold outside.

2009-12-02T14:29:00.007-06:00

Yes, of COURSE I have my Pandora station set to Christmas music. I can't help it. I bet you can't, either, so don't pretend like you're above it.

In fact, here's the link to my Pandora station, y'all. You love it and you KNOW IT.

So, let's see. I didn't get to the gym yesterday. Yesterday sucked a little. Mostly it was the headache. Mostly.

I went home a little early and took a shower. That helped somewhat. So did sleeping in this morning.

Today's much better, especially with the cheesy Christmas music in the background. It really does help to drown out the bitching and moaning that I do :)

additionally...

2009-11-30T21:37:00.001-06:00

I'm starting a run/walk program for beginners.

Today I only did this for about 25 minutes (with 5 minute warm up and cool down on the bookends of the workout). 2 minutes walking/1 minute run, repeat. It felt pretty good, but I did get a little sore. WAYYYYYY out of shape.

oh, fer sure.

2009-11-30T21:34:00.003-06:00

I got to the gym AGAIN today. Here's to keeping up with it. I know it's only been a week, but I've really needed that kind of progress.

I made it to the gym four times last week. I'll do the same this week - hopefully I can get up to five, though. We'll see. D's in class for the next two weeks, and I'll be on my own Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. That's probably good for me.

I did okay, eating-wise today. At least I tracked everything.

Onto tomorrow!

catching up.

2009-11-30T08:11:00.003-06:00

So.

Thanksgiving was super fun - yay, family.

Driving for that amount of time, though, always sets my brain to "mulling it over" mode, for some reason. I'll sit quietly in the car for hours. Poor husband. I think he thought I was going crazy, because I barely talked the whole time. I think I just use that time to process stuff and organize my thoughts. I dunno. It's not like anything was bugging me. I guess I just use the time as an opportunity to file away stuff in my head.

I was able to work out FOUR times last week. Huzzah! I'm very pleased with myself. I'd like to keep that up, and try to get a more intense workout in. Secretly I'd like to start running a bit. Running on that ankle does scare me, and so does the fact that my dad is getting knee surgery (most likely as a result of running ALOT while he served in the army for almost 30 years, and training for several marathons).

And I'd also like to start tracking my food. I might find a way to include that in the blog, to keep me accountable. I've done the food tracking thing alot. This time, though, I don't want to count all the calories. I just want to stay accountable for what I'm eating, and it helps me to keep in mind the fact that I'm trying watch what I shove down my throat.

Anyway, the break was good, and I'm kind of glad to be back. The routine helps a little bit. The scary thought, though, is that Christmas is only a few weeks away. Son of a Christmas bitch.

woohoo!

2009-11-25T13:45:00.002-06:00

Well, another one of my bosses told me I could go ahead and leave. Super sweet.

I take back my rant below.

Oh, wait. No, I don't.

kick ass cover.

2009-11-25T13:43:00.001-06:00

Happy Giving-of-Thanks Day!

2009-11-25T12:12:00.004-06:00

I probably won't post over the next few days, because we'll be visiting family and busy gorging ourselves on all kinds of awesome food. I love Thanksgiving.

So, get this. Earlier this week, we get an email from our president stating that NO, we definitely do NOT get off early on Wednesday (today), before Thanksgiving. I mean, the question shouldn't even come up, people. But have a great holiday! Kisses.

A couple years ago, my boss decided to let us off a little bit early. Like 3:00 pm. Boy, did he get in trouble (the president is my boss's boss). Two hours early than closing time! Shit, he's lucky his ass didn't get fired.

I'm pretty bitter about this, as you can well imagine.

Because:

a) NO ONE is here. The office and the rest of campus is dead. Teachers don't even pretend to have class today, because everyone leaves today (or yesterday).

b) It's fucking Thanksgiving, asshole. People want to start cooking and packing and they want to be with their families. Don't make us request time off to do that.

c) None of our vendors are working, either. Why? Again - it's fucking Thanksgiving.

Is he worried that we'll take advantage of the few extra hours off? That we'll use that as an excuse to leave early everyday?? That important things won't get done? Maybe we'll accidentally leave all of the lights on, too, and run up the electricity bill because we'll be SO EXCITED and manic over getting to leave a whopping two hours early. Maybe we'll lose potential clients because they'll be banging on our office door with money to give us, but we're not in the office at 4:00 pm on the day before Thanksgiving, and that will piss them off and we'll never hear from them again, and we certainly won't get that million dollar gift they were planning on giving us. Maybe?

Maybe. But maybe everyone else in America understands that family is more important than sitting at your desk and pretending to work long enough hours.

I'm going to see how early I can sneak out. I'll keep you posted.

chew on these

2009-11-24T13:02:00.005-06:00

And here are some little bits of trivia you might not have known:

1. If a memorial statue of a person on a horse has both of the horse's front legs in the air, that person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. And if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

2. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

3. Skin is our body's largest organ.

4. Crossing one's fingers is a way of secretly making the sign of the Cross. It was started by early Christians to ask for divine assistance without attracting the attention of pagans.

5. James Buchanan was the only U.S. president that was not married. He vowed never to marry after his fiance died.

6. It takes approximately 12 years for Jupiter to orbit the sun.

7. Between 25% and 33% of people sneeze when they are exposed to light.

sha-wing.

2009-11-23T20:41:00.003-06:00

Just got back from the gym.

I even ran a little bit on the treadmill.

Ok, like FOUR minutes of jogging (not "running").

Still.

Go, me.

"Go, you!"

apologies.

2009-11-23T16:22:00.002-06:00

I'm really trying to get a feel for what I want my blog to look like and feel like for readers, so please excuse the maintenance that goes on. You'll notice a different template from time to time, or different colors. I think one day I'll stick with something that I feel works for me. But for now, please excuse the makeovers.

I sincerely appreciate those of you who've commented and read my posts. It's really, really, REALLY flattering. Thank you.

yes, watch this now.

2009-11-23T16:11:00.001-06:00

www.theyearsareshort.com

feeling positive

2009-11-23T09:00:00.007-06:00

So, I got my ass over to that new gym yesterday evening. We got SO MUCH done yesterday (just a general cleaning of the whole house, and it felt GREAT), and I was like, "Y'know, today was good. I'd be extra pleased with myself if I got a little workout in." So I did. I did it. I had that item on my checklist and was able to cross it off.

I really, really needed that.

And I think I can use that to jumpstart a great week. Yeah, it's Thanksgiving this week, which will kind of mess up any routine that I have. BUT.

I'm hereby setting a goal for myself to workout, in some way, 4 times this week. I've already worked out once. I'm setting it at 4 times because three doesn't quite feel like enough, and 5 is just a little harder to attain. We'll see. I plan on getting over to the gym tonight, and will check in tomorrow with my progress.

I usually hate setting goals, because I feel like I'm just setting myself up to fail. Again. But getting to the gym last night (it was ONLY a thirty minute cardio session, mind you - but small steps are best right now) left me feeling incredibly proud of myself. I CAN DO THIS.

(Totally me.)

in which I reflect on lazy sundays

2009-11-22T13:13:00.001-06:00

Aren't they great? D and I got the bedroom rearranged and he's watching football. I'm waiting for the pizza and will get to cooking up some gumbo and chili for this week.

The windows are all open, and we're letting in sunshine and fresh air. LOVE this kind of day.

wow. just...wow.

2009-11-20T12:06:00.002-06:00

From Aiming Low, a site that Anissa helped to launch (from what I understand - and if I'm wrong, please correct me): A letter from the Editors.

Also, the story of Anissa is in the news, too.

See how many lives we can touch? We don't even realize it sometimes.

Still praying for you, Anissa.

a tearful commute

2009-11-20T08:52:00.003-06:00

That's what I get for listening to NPR's StoryCorps in the morning on my way in.

Here's the link to listen to it, but beware: it's sob-inducing.

An Overwhelming Hope

2009-11-19T10:14:00.003-06:00

So, yesterday on Twitter, I found out that a friend of alot of the women that I follow was taken to the hospital. Her name is Anissa. She suffered a stroke on Tuesday and is still in the hospital as of now. Throughout yesterday, this community of women updated each other on Anissa's progress and reached out to Anissa's family. Her husband has been updating everyone here.

I don't know Anissa. I only heard about the story through Twitter and all of the amazing women whose blogs I read. I'm on the outside.

What provoked my entry today is just how many lives we are capable of touching. Anissa and her family have armies of angels praying and hoping for them. It's truly touching how powerful a community can be.

Thank you, Anissa, for bringing everyone together. Even those of us looking in from the outside.

"We don't accomplish anything in this world alone ... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something."

Sandra Day O'Connor

gym memberships and jackhammers

2009-11-18T16:41:00.002-06:00

They're jackhammering again today. Apparently they're doing some much needed repairs on pipes and stuff under our building. For the next few weeks. Shit.

I'm considering joining a gym nearby. It's close to my house, it's SO SUPER CHEAP, and I need a serious kick in the a$$. Serious.

I have access to a free gym here at my place of business, but I never use it. Why pay, then? Well, this other gym (Planet Fitness) has better hours (especially during the summer and holidays). And, it's sad, but having a membership and paying for it is an incentive. And I need a change of pace. Working out here at the office gym isn't a change in environment. I just need something different. And soon. My clothes haven't been fitting like I want them to. I've gained about 30 pounds since my wedding. THIRTY, y'all. I'm not happy. I'm trying to feel better about my body, but I know that won't happen if I'm not at least trying to be healthy. I don't want to stress about it - I do want to work at it, though.

dream

2009-11-17T10:55:00.005-06:00

I totally forgot to mention this.

Last week (later in the week - Thursday or Friday, probably), I woke up in the middle of the night, surprised at the dream I'd just had.

I was in a house with my family and husband. We were all wandering around this old house (my guess is this was a house we were moving into or planning on staying at). I remember the rooms being well lit, but a little boring and gray. But there were animals around, just hanging out, not really interacting with us. Except this snake.

The snake came right up to me. I don't remember being incredibly afraid. Until it bit me on my right foot. I saw blood and woke up, and remembered the bite (more like a pinch) as I blinked in the darkness of my bedroom.

An interpretation (from Dream Moods Dictionary):

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.

I don't think there's anything sexual about my snake. I do see that I've been worried about work (and perhaps other unknowns at work, like what my boss and her boss talk about behind her closed door all the time). When I consider, though, that after meeting with my boss and giving her scads of information on events that I have coming up, goals for the next year, etc., and seeing how pleased she was with this, I felt as though I'd made a breakthrough. Which the snake bite could also symbolize:

When one is bitten by a snake in a dream, this often actually points to overcoming a situation that appeared dire. The a snake bit dream may point to learning to overcome a situation and regain your power in life. Snake bites can be viewed as in injection of wisdom, rather than life threatening venom.

I think that one is pretty right on (courtesy of Bella Online).

Who knows what's going on in my subconscious, really. Does your brain ever stop chasing its tail?

a few items

2009-11-17T10:10:00.003-06:00

1) Work is going better. I'm feeling a bit more...content about things. I also found a way to "play the game" with my boss. Seeing as she's a micromanager, if I give her loads and loads of information on exactly each thing that I'm doing, she's happy with me. So I just have to keep playing the game.

2) I met my Little Sister. I volunteered for Big Brothers Big Sisters a little while back and just got matched with her. She's adorable, and talkative and the coolest 8-year-old that I know.

3) Still loving the new bra. My boobs feel great!

4) I'm going to an open house on Thursday at a nearby massage school. I'm going to look into certification as a massage therapist (which would also pair nicely with a doula certification). Small steps. I don't know if it's feasible for me to even take classes right now, if I have the time or money, but I need to see what's available first before jumping to any conclusions.

5) Check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajLSmCduXk4

6) I'm so, so thankful that the holidays are coming up. Not that I've done anything to prepare for any of it. I'm really just looking forward to the time away from this office.

7) My co-worker and friend came into my office the other day. She's feeling out-of-sorts about the office, too. In fact (and she's the office mom), everyone is, according to her. Alot of us are worried about our jobs, and our bosses aren't doing anything to keep our hopes and spirits up. I guess it's up to us to handle that. (Note the sarcasm. I really believe it's up to our managers and leaders to encourage a positive mentality.)

8) Despite the general gloomy feeling, these weeks are flying by! Maybe I'll start counting down the days until my husband gets his MBA (which is, for the most part, why I'm sticking around here at work - he gets free classes).

9) I think we found some help for Mollie (the dog). Because we adopted her from Second Chance SPCA, we get a discount for behavior classes. This is a relief more than anything else. I know Mollie can be a good dog, we just need a little help getting her there. The problem is us, not her.

Now, off to wander around campus and waste more time trying to look as busy as possible.

a survey on marriage

2009-11-16T12:00:00.005-06:00

So, there's a survey that was emailed out here at my job (purely voluntary and confidential) about marriage and faith.

The survey is brief, but asks some interesting questions about how you and your spouse handle conflict, how similar your upbringing is to your spouse's, and how similar your values are. I'm hoping my reponses are considered more of a "wild card." Especially in the environment I work in (all the same people with the same kinds of upbringing and faith).

My husband was raised in a Christian environment, but doesn't practice any religion, and considers himself to be a non-believer/secular humanist/agnostic. I was raised in a very strict Catholic household and don't practice anymore. I don't know that I believe in a "higher power" at all, actually. I guess I'd classify myself as an agnostic/bad Catholic.

The thing is, despite the differences in upbringing (my family went to church every Sunday, prayed the rosary every night, etc.; D's family didn't, although they did go to a Methodist church for awhile), D and I have very similar values. And actually, when we were first dating (and I was still attending Mass somewhat regularly), I was pleasantly surprised to see how similar our values were, despite his lack of faith.

I'm not really taking any particular stand on religion or marriage or any of that - I think I'm just telling folks (especially those who are single and looking) to keep an open mind and heart. You don't have to date the girl your mom would like because he or she went to the same church or lived in the same neighborhood. Sometimes those differences can make you a stronger partner and help to build a better foundation. Sometimes the differences bring you closer together.

Sunday wrap-up. And ta-tas.

2009-11-15T18:48:00.005-06:00

Well, it was a decent week. I'm managing to keep my head above water and I think I'm motivated enough to actually drag my ass into work. That doesn't mean I like it. But it's bearable.

And I do like the routine and that the environment is somewhat flexible. I can leave for somewhat-long lunches and it's not a big deal. I can goof around on the internet (and blog!) without anyone really saying anything, as long as I can output enough bullshit work for my boss. So. There IS a bright side, even if I call my work "bullshit." :)

Currently reading: An Invisible Sign of My Own (Aimee Bender)

I've actually read this one before, and loved it.

Also, I purchased a couple new bras today. I didn't think buying bras would make me so much happier, but seriously, a good bra improves your shape and puts your ta-tas where they need to be. All good things. I was SHOCKED to learn what my real bra size is. We're not all a size 34 C, and I bet if you go into a store (where they know what they're doing, like where I went) you'll find that you've been wearing the wrong size. I was WAY OFF.

I went to a store called Intimacy and they were super helpful. The price is a little hefty, but worth it. These are good bras and the customer service is awesome.

I heard about the store because of Oprah's Bra Revolution. I don't really like Oprah, but this was really helpful. And so many women are wearing ill-fitting bras, it's understandable that someone like Oprah felt the need to do a couple shows about it. The ladies from "What Not to Wear" also held a massive Bra-Swap, in which hundreds of women stripped down to their crappy bras, traded them for more comfortably-fitting bras, and disposed of the old ones:

See how happy the new bras make them? A good bra is like a good friend. Yeah, you can quote me on that shit.

lessons i have learned the hard way.

2009-11-12T17:02:00.002-06:00

1) Never fool around with someone after eating jalapenos (and not washing your hands).

2) Never bank with Capital One.

little lamb.

2009-11-11T13:18:00.001-06:00

It's my desk mascot!

Books I've just finished. And pancakes.

2009-11-11T10:46:00.004-06:00

I picked up a couple books from the library (see previous post here for a list of them). Two of them were particularly good reads. I'm in the middle of No One Belongs Here More than You (by Miranda July), which is a collection of short stories. The stories are very well-written, some catch you off guard with their brevity and bluntness, but I'm really enjoying the collection.

I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky). I really fell in love with Charlie, the main character. He felt so vulnerable and pure, and I really just ate that book up. It made me cry a few times - I'm not sure why it touched me so much, except that I felt a real tenderness towards Charlie. That book is a new favorite.

I also finished How the Light Gets In (M.J. Hyland). I don't know that I really "got" the ending. I very much enjoyed the story, but felt a bit cheated at the end. The main character seems very fragile, and I think I just wanted the assurance that she would be able to survive whatever else came her way.

I'm really enjoying the reading and how it's allowing me to escape and to re-focus my attention. I do worry a bit that my husband might feel ignored (especially because when my nose is in a book, I can't see or hear anything that's going on around me). He's busy with classes and reading, too, though. Plus, I made us pancakes this morning! Yum. Thanks to Nigella Lawson for her awesome Pancake Mix recipe. They seriously turn out the BEST pancakes every time.

I can't stop reading this guy.

2009-11-10T10:59:00.005-06:00

I guess I've just needed the motivation, and everything this guy writes makes more and more sense to me.

Great quote:

"If you want the most mileage out of this lifetime then behave as if one is all you get ... you can’t do everything, but if you choose wisely, you can do any one thing you want. Perhaps that thing won’t be done as well as you’d like or earn you a living, but it can be yours in some form if you’re motivated to have it before you die. Trick: Imagine yourself on your deathbed once a week ... Ask, what will I regret not having done if knew I was going to die today? Make a list and get to work. Otherwise you deserve all your dying regrets: you knew death was coming all along."

(From this essay.)

Seriously, it's helping me to realize that the work I'm doing here is important and I can make more out of it instead of getting bogged down. Of course, there's a line that can be crossed - if I'm completely miserable, it's not worth it. But right now, I can get through the day. I just need to figure out what it is that motivates me and focus on that.

We found out over the weekend that my husband is pretty much his professor's favorite. My husband, who I think is brilliant and amazing and innovative, got an A++ (seriously) on an essay that he wrote for class. His professor was really impressed, and suggested that they even co-author some projects together.

I can't even describe how overjoyed and proud I am.

It also helped to make our plans for the future a little more tangible. We're on the right path. It was relieving that someone else saw just how awesome my husband is. The sky is the limit.

An open letter to micromanagers

2009-11-09T15:04:00.003-06:00

Thank you so much, Scott Berkun, for this post. I don't know that I have the balls to send something like this to my boss (as I am her only subordinate), but it's helpful knowing that the issue of micromanagement and all-around-shittasticness-in-the-workplace isn't something that I'm experiencing on my own.

An open letter to micromanagers

Posted using ShareThis

open letter to my boss.

2009-11-06T08:47:00.002-06:00

Hey, there, boss. I thought I'd take the time to update you on some of the things that are going on right now over where I am. I know you don't plan on stepping down off your pedestal anytime soon, so I'll just talk louder so that you can hear me (but feel free to ignore me if you need to - I know you're way busier than I am and probably have WAY more important things to do than listen to me).

I'm working on several projects right now, none of which are quite important enough for you to get involved with, but still pertinent enough for you to remind me how awfully I'm handling everything. In between projects, I handle walk-ins from our "clients" and take completely random calls from people that you wouldn't want to communicate with, anyway. They're not big money-makers, so you probably shouldn't waste your time. They do love our "company" alot, though, and are very loyal, good people. Not that you'll ever meet them - you only meet with the big-wigs!

I totally appreciate how hands-on you've been about micro-managing me. I know this takes up alot of your time, so I'm very grateful that you like to waste your and my time with condescending jabs and belittling comments. Thank you.

I'm also really happy that you've left me out of some of the projects that you're working on, despite how relevant they are to my own duties. It's great that you're that conscious of my time. Thank you again.

I'm also super grateful for your management and leadership style. I love that you require being in control of EVERYthing in this office, despite the fact that not everything requires your sign off. I know you've wasted a good portion of your "golden years" here, and somehow your age is an indication of your wisdom and omnipotence - I know our office boss really appreciates your insight and help. I mean, let's be honest. He has no idea what he's doing. He's older than you! Only joking.

Lastly, thank you for having so much faith in me to handle the shittiest tasks that you can think of. I don't deserve it.

Yours,
A Pee-On whose last name you pronounce incorrectly

fun stuff.

2009-11-05T16:45:00.002-06:00

Okay, I can't help but dig this song.

big sigh.

2009-11-05T14:54:00.003-06:00

I'm in another one of my ruts, and I'm doing my best to claw my way out of it.

Most of it's work. But, when one thing is getting me down, it tends to affect all corners of my brain. So, for instance, the fact that Molly (the dog) poops in the kitchen doesn't just mean that I have to clean it up. It also means that I feel guilty for not being a better dog owner. But that means that I'm too tired to be a good dog owner. Which also means that I'm tired because work is tough. And work is tough because I don't feel like I'm doing a good job, because I'm meant to do *something else*, except I don't know what that is, because I have a liberal arts education, which kind of means I can do anything, except I don't know what that is. And so I want to sleep and cry and eat, and that's IT. All because Molly pooped.

Thankfully I put in requests for a bunch of books at the library, and I went and picked up four of them today. Wahoo! Looking forward to throwing myself into them and letting the rest of the world disappear.

I'm reading:

No One Belongs Here More than You (Miranda July)

An Invisible Sign of My Own (Aimee Bender)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky)

and

How the Light Gets In (M.J. Hyland)

I'm also waiting on two books to come in. They're books about childbirth. I'm considering the field of doula-ing. I ordered the books because it seems like a good first step. I can feel that fear of failing creeping up on me already, though. Why do I DO that??

Here's to taking first steps, despite the fear.

Hi, new nephew!

2009-11-03T16:17:00.002-06:00

You're beautiful and perfect and I love you. Also, your mom and pops are crazy, but they'll do a great job.

2009-11-03T12:37:00.003-06:00

Watching my brother as a husband and soon-to-be-father (like, any second now) was awesome. Watching E, my sister-in-law, get through her contractions - even more awesome. I love you guys, and know you'll be kick-ass parents.

pictures, dogs, whatnot.

2009-11-02T13:44:00.010-06:00

Back at work. I really cannot even go into how frustrated I am here. Getting away like D and I did really helps to put some stuff in perspective, and it seems like every time I'm able to take a break from work, I remember how much I hate it.

I don't think I'm depressed about it like I have been in the past. I would come home crying sometimes. No, I think I just know that I'm really not supposed to be here. And so I'm really, really, really looking forward to a change.

Anyhoo, I thought I'd share some photos from our trip. The best part (besides visiting with my new family) was Mt. Lemmon. Man, that place is gorgeous. Here, see for yourself.

We stopped at the top of the mountain, at this little town called Summerhaven. I could totally live there. It's just SO. PRETTY. Sigh.

Getting back home was good, though. Back to the routine and our dogs and all that. I did miss the dogs. Molly, however -- well, we let her out in the backyard on Saturday, and she managed to bring her own shit back into the house. That's always fun. So we cleaned all that up. I took the pups out to the dog park both Saturday and Sunday, and they always have a good time. We try to make sure that Molly gets good and worn out, because MAN...she's got alot of energy. Apparently she was really pooped after Sunday's visit:

Anyway, more to come. I put a ton of books on request at the library, and I'm looking forward to getting some reading done. While we were in Tucson, I read "The Time Traveler's Wife" (all of it) and really enjoyed it. Yay for words.

Back!

2009-10-31T13:00:00.002-05:00

More updates to come. D and I got in late last night after driving all day. We had a great time, although we didn't do exactly what we'd planned. It was still an awesome trip, thanks to D's Aunt Stacie.

Will post more later!

happy anniversary!

2009-10-24T11:14:00.009-05:00

Last night my husband and I went out to celebrate our first anniversary (it's actually on Oct. 26th, but we're going out of town on that road trip, and we wanted to kick it all off with a night out). We went to Cuba Libre (service was awful) and then...to a burlesque show!!

We had the. BEST. TIME. The women were beautiful and it was an overall awesome performance.

All of the acts, like I said, were top knotch. My favorite? Kalani Kokonuts, winner of the 2009 Ms. Exotic World. She was just breathtaking, and had the best performance, in my opinion.

Another big favorite is Coco Lectric. Man, she really knew how to work an audience, I thought. Engaging and flirty and gorgeous. Here's a sample (this wasn't the performance we saw): http://www.youtube.com/user/cocolectric#p/a

I really think you should check out a burlesque troupe in your area, if you haven't already. It's a fun time (not really a "family" outing, of course). If you're in Dallas, check out Dallas Burlesque for upcoming performances and activities in the area.

Right now my husband is in class (I'm sorry honey, for keeping you out late last night - I hope it was worth it), and we'll leave EARLY tomorrow morning, for an all day drive through Texas to Tucson. I'm also thawing out our wedding topper for us to eat tonight. I can't wait to try it!

I can't wait! I'm so excited to be celebrating our first anniversary. I'm such a lucky woman. I love you, sweetie, and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

why i'm a constant source of humor.

2009-10-23T08:54:00.003-05:00

My brother and I grew up listening to the same kinds of music (I guess all of us kids did - it's not like my brother and I were the only ones listening). I'm a big fan of lots of artists and bands, ranging from hip new indie bands that my sister discovers, to oldies and motown and classical and rock and and and. I like alot of stuff. I'll sing along to most anything.

Not that I know the lyrics, though. I screw up alot of lyrics. Ask my brother. Some lyrics that I've messed up:

Misheard lyric:
"I'm gonna rape till the midnight hour."
Actual lyric: "I'm gonna wait till the midnight hour."
(Wilson Pickett's "In the Midnight Hour")

Misheard lyric:
"No more lumps and no surprises."
Actual lyric: "No alarms and no surprises."
(Radiohead's "No Surprises")

Misheard lyric:
"A wa sha ba buh dompa."
Actual lyric: "The wise man has the power."
(Doobie Brother's "What a Fool Believes")

Sometimes I think the lyrics we make up are way better than what's actually written. :)

things that annoy me.

2009-10-23T08:13:00.007-05:00

It's Friday! While I'm feeling optimistic about the weekend (especially since we're going on vacation, which I can't shut up about), my morning commute got to me. What was the culprit?

These:

I know I'm in Texas. I know trucks and guns outnumber the people that live here. But still. It's tacky. In fact, this article points out that some lawmakers actually want to ban those plastic testicles, because they're such a distraction.

Also on my shit list:

Miley Cyrus and her damn "Party in the U.S.A." song. Maybe she's a sweet girl. But that song should be banned, along with the testicles. That song is worse than the testicles.

Among all of the crappy things my boss likes to do, the most annoying two things by far are her laugh (it's a scream laugh, and she sounds like an animal), and how she says "uh-huh" all the time, especially when HER boss is talking. It's like she has to agree with everything he says. Every bit of it. And I nod my head and agree when people talk to me, too. But this is a little different.

Bruno from "Dancing with the Stars." STOP. Please.

But, it's Friday, and my head is just in the clouds because we're going out of town and I don't have to deal with any of the aforementioned items. Except maybe those testicles, I guess, when we're driving through Texas.

rain, rain.

2009-10-22T08:03:00.007-05:00

The weather has been just craptastic lately. We had a few days of sunshine, but as a dog owner, the sunshine doesn't feel like much relief, because the dogs will still find wet patches of ground that the sun has yet to dry up and track that all over the house.

I wondered just how much the weather affected me, because I do prefer the sun over clouds and rain. I found out that this woman in my office suffers from seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which I kind of dismissed. After a little looking around, though, I'm realizing it can be pretty serious. (What does that mean for Shirley Manson, I wonder, who's "only happy when it rains." Stupid Girl.)

Counting down until Saturday, when D and I leave for Tucson. There's so much to see along the way!!

World's largest jackrabbit in Odessa, TX

Star over El Paso, TX

Kitt Peak National Observatory, Tucson, AZ

It should be alot of fun.